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Coping, therapiers, tips... : Shame for gambling addiction: How do you deal with this shame? (Page 3)

Topic created on 24th Oct. 2017 | Page: 3 of 4 | Answers: 39 | Views: 14,850
Daniel
Elite

Shame for gambling addiction: How do you deal with this shame?

7th Feb. 2018, at 07:19 pm CET#21
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Avantgarde83 wrote on 07.02.2018 at 19:12
Daniel wrote on 07.02.2018 at 19:06
Roflcopter1312 wrote on 07.02.2018 at 18:02: But I have to say playing has changed me somehow, I still play but it's different like in "old times" more controlled I would say.

Yes, with time (and if you got into shit 1 - 2 times) you kind of learn to play more controlled - for the most part at least. I've had that experience as well. When all the fun started, I didn't know any limits either and gambled the bank account mercilessly to 0 - from 30.000€ to 0€.

30K? I never had that much in the account before 😳

I gambled for the first time when I was already 26 years old (and got addicted right away). Before that I was a real Swabian and saved a lot. I even saved during my apprenticeship and I also didn't move out of home until I was 23. I even once had almost around 38K. Well, then I got burnout and depression, quit my job and lived off the savings hoping that a 3-month sabbatical followed by further training would help me (that was my plan). Unfortunately, it wasn't the time off that helped me, but about 10 months later the vending machine in the pub of a friend, who was my (expensive) therapist or distractor ...

I also didn't have 30K anymore, but rather only around 28K, which was then gone in less than 3 months. So 25K definitely went into the vending machines during that time. And even the years after that I always supported the poor arcade owners with my monthly income.

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Anonym

Shame for gambling addiction: How do you deal with this shame?

30th Mar. 2018, at 05:30 pm CEST#22
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Anonym

Shame for gambling addiction: How do you deal with this shame?

30th Mar. 2018, at 05:30 pm CEST#23
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Daniel wrote on 07/02/2018 at 19:19
I gambled for the first time when I was already 26 years old (and immediately got addicted). Before that I was a real Swabian and saved a lot. I even saved during my apprenticeship and I also didn't move out of home until I was 23. I even once had almost around 38K. Well, then I got burnout and depression, quit my job and lived off the savings hoping that a 3-month sabbatical followed by further training would help me (that was my plan). Unfortunately, it wasn't the time off that helped me, but about 10 months later the vending machine in the pub of a friend, who was my (expensive) therapist or distractor ...

I also didn't have 30K anymore, but rather only around 28K, which was then gone in less than 3 months. So 25K definitely went into the vending machines during that time. And even the years after that I always supported the poor arcade owners with my monthly income.

I even started gambling at the age of 29! Before that, I wasn't interested or I threw 2 euros into a machine, which were gone immediately.

Then I thought, well great that was it already?

I've only been playing for 1 1/2 years, but since then I've really f**ked myself up because of it.

Would say that now slowly comes back to reason.
Because of the gambling I sat already 3-4 times in the shit and could not pay all obligations although I already had nice wins.

I think just with the zockerei, it takes several months that hurt. If you have to sell beloved material things because of too much gambling, you realize: Hold on, it can't go on like this...

With me it had to hurt several times until I had seriously questioned what I'm actually doing with my money / life.

I think I will give myself 2-3 months break .

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Daniel
Elite

Shame for gambling addiction: How do you deal with this shame?

30th Mar. 2018, at 05:56 pm CEST#24
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Yes, such a break from gambling is extremely good for the bank account and you really wonder how much money you can save and how that frees your psyche and gives you a more secure feeling. The best thing is that over the years you have learned to get by with less than you actually had at your disposal.

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Anonym

Shame for gambling addiction: How do you deal with this shame?

30th Mar. 2018, at 06:58 pm CEST#25
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Hmm, so I for one can say that I've gambled a lot... even way too much, but there is always a way out for "EVERYTHING"... you just have to turn your brain back on at a certain point... I have to say I'm not ashamed of gambling... I smoke some weed a few times a week...but I also have to say honestly if you ever have to deal with people who earn a lot of money... then you will notice that they all have some kind of vice... one goes gambling the other does coke... the next one cheats on his old lady in a high-class whorehouse... or one collects overpriced sports cars or art... and pays astronomical prices for it because one thinks one needs something like that... but to go on vacation 2-3 times a year you don't need several thousand Euros... you can also just stay in a 3 or 4 star hotel and not in a 4,5-5 star hotel...
what I personally find bad is that one has no more reference to money ...

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Anonym

Shame for gambling addiction: How do you deal with this shame?

30th Mar. 2018, at 07:02 pm CEST#26
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Daniel wrote on 30/03/2018 at 17:56: Yes, such a break from gambling is extremely good for your bank account and you really wonder how much money you can save and how that frees your psyche and makes you feel more secure. The best part is also that over the years you have learned to get by with less than you actually had available.

When you've been in the shit several times, you become aware of what money is actually worth.

If you play sensibly with a limit, then it can be fun.

Often you realize, as you already write Daniel, how a break does the stress level good, you have more money (anyway already like won!) and you also go after hobbies (eg sports).
If I have played a lot for a while, then I had no desire to go to the gym, because my psyche was so stressed that I was happy just to have home and rest.

You should really stick more to the points for responsible gambling, and only play with money that you can easily get over when it is lost.

I have already lived several times despite well-paid job the month like a Hartz4 recipient - it can not really be.

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Anonym

Shame for gambling addiction: How do you deal with this shame?

30th Mar. 2018, at 09:44 pm CEST#27
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Hello... really awesome. Had almost the same question in mind this lunchtime. How open are players with their Gambling addiction to others? So... I don't really care what others think of me, due to the fact that I would never intentionally harm anyone, so I rarely have a problem with myself. According to the motto, take me as I am or leave me as I am. With gaming it's somehow different... I try to keep that as my darkest secret. I play meanwhile since approx. 7 years and know this actually only 2 persons from my actually quite large circle of acquaintances. It used to be that I went to the arcade very often, almost every day (now I don't go anymore), where people knew each other of course and therefore knew how pronounced the gambling addiction is in some people. If I meet today someone from the arcade time, I always say mercilessly I do not play more. Actually not for the reason to stand better, but rather as encouragement. According to the motto... look, if I made it, you can also manage to get away from it. So far I thought I was lying to make it easier for others... but that's not true, because otherwise I would just tell others who don't play, e.g. my mother. My bank advisor called me last year and asked me in concern if everything was going right, because of the many withdrawals. I so.... sure, is not fraud, this is my friend who uses my account and likes to play. Let's be honest, what do I care about this person... actually not at all, yet I was ashamed to reveal myself. So that this passion, actually how the word already contains suffering with itself brings is probably clear to us all. And maybe that is also the reason for the shame, because secretly you know that you inflict suffering on someone, so harm, namely in the first place (only) yourself.

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tontoo2
Experienced

Shame for gambling addiction: How do you deal with this shame?

30th Mar. 2018, at 10:56 pm CEST#28
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Well, I'm not ashamed of being a player. Not at all. There are politicians, journalists, etc., too. They're not ashamed of it at all, what should I be ashamed of doing slots with my money.

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Anonym

Shame for gambling addiction: How do you deal with this shame?

30th Mar. 2018, at 11:05 pm CEST#29
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Ashamed of an addiction? I am not a gambling addict, was or am an alcohol addict, but sober for 6 years.

I have never been ashamed of this addiction in front of others, rather in front of myself. What do I want to say with that. What is important is how you deal with it. Are you at peace with yourself, despite your addiction to gambling? If so...what do you care what others think about you?

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R****r

Shame for gambling addiction: How do you deal with this shame?

31st Mar. 2018, at 02:30 am CEST#30
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Ronny1982 wrote on 30/03/2018 at 23:05
I have never been ashamed of this addiction in front of others, rather in front of myself. What am I trying to say. What is important is how you deal with it. Are you at peace with yourself, despite your addiction to gambling? If so...what do you care what others think about you?

That's what I call true words. I feel the same way and not differently. Is one with itself in the pure one or has also only enough self-confidence are one the opinions of other humans indifferently.

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