Topic created on 19th Jan. 2021 | Page: 1 of 3 | Answers: 28 | Views: 5,230
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Gambling addiction - relapse - and now the therapy ?
19th Jan. 2021, at 02:47 am CET#1
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Hello zsm,
Thanks in advance to those who take the time to read my post,
and send me help in the form of advice.
About my person,
I, a normal (gambling addict) young man, who is 25 years old and has completed school - training,
and has had a permanent job for almost 8 years, since I was taken on there after my training.
It is quasi everything very well with me, just to perfect ... if there would not be the gambling addiction...
My problem is the following, I am highly addicted to gambling, and now write here for the first time in such a forum a contribution
I play since I am 17 years old, at the beginning in normal gambling houses, with initially small stakes 10-20 cents,
also always with a friend... at first it was all fun and it kept within limits.
There would be so much to write here what I happened in the last 8 years, but I think that would go far beyond the scope,
so I try to keep it as short as possible.
So as you know, I gamble since my 17th year of life almost every month my salary, but afford me during this time but also other things, such as cigarettes, and go every weekend to party, for which my money was always enough. That was because I earned and earn relatively well, and I do not have to pay rent, because I live with my parents.
This all went reasonably well, until I was then trained and then earned very good money (initially just under 2k, and at some point Stand now about 3500€.
And the more I earned, the more uncontrolled my gambling became, then I was 20 years old,
i then began to play in online casino, with soccer betting, online Poker etc.. and bang at once I also took my first loan!
The loan was then relatively quickly gambled away and more followed... at some point the whole thing blew up, because of course I could no longer lift the rates at some point and the reminders piled up at home, (not because I earned too little money to repay, but because I have gambled away every month anew my salary).
At some point I involved my parents, and they paid back the loans for me. (Total 30 thousand in about).
then followed a few gambling-free months, then it went on again with the gambling!
Now I skip a few more years, because it contains the usual procedure of a gambling addict, everything gambled away - again loans taken - family stolen, slightly criminal with eg things sell on Ebay you do not own, (Quasi loan money) as soon as I had money again or the salary came I have then immediately paid back the money (was the intention from the beginning if I do not win with the (faked money) so the whole thing went well for a relatively long time.
Then with 24 years the first waking up, I was finished with my life, the work has never suffered from it, but otherwise I spent most of the time locked up in my room,
at some point my brother noticed that too. I now talked completely openly about everything for the first time in my life (gambling addiction - what all happened, and of course the loans..
I lied to everyone for so long, and delayed (credit installments) until nothing more went... my 3-4 next monthly salaries were virtually used up for a very long time, although I did not have them yet... , I was then helped again, in total just under 100k, which my family has served. A small remaining sum of about 20k was left open to me, which was also very good, and so I agreed from Fort an every month a thousand euros from my salary immediately after Lohnhalt to repay, my brother has the whole then controlled with me, in the form of account statements... unfortunately, my addiction did not last long and I was looking for ways to get around it in the form of cash withdrawals over weeks, to then drive again with a large sum (1-2k) in casino...etc.
The whole thing went well now again 1 year, and I stood again before almost 10k Debt that had to be repaid immediately.
The relapse was perfect, I had thrown away a renewed paid new start ... or gambled.
I do not play now for 1 months, I can no longer access the salary, the control was handed over to the family.
I'm doing very well with it, I have no real desire to go anywhere to play, but maybe it's also because I have no money or only the most necessary daily provided for cigarettes and food at work, gas, etc..
I am now for the first time in my life in consultation with a Gambling addiction expert, who advises me very strongly to make an inpatient treatment because of my history, duration for this would be about 4 months. My employer is very accommodating and I also have a good position in the company, here and also within the family everyone is behind me without exception, I am sure. I am not completely averse to this inpatient treatment, BUT,
I know that I need help and indeed professional help, because I am very addicted to gambling, BUT, I do not want anyone to know about it, and 4 months is a very long time where you are not at home, and can do nothing with friends or in the work just completely missing!
I just don't want anyone outside my family to know that I'm a gambling addict (the topic is pretty low in society), I just want to be seen as a normal young man, and not as a gambling addict, you think I already know what I mean...
I have no problem to say openly within the family that I am a gambling addict, even my therapist knows all this about me.
My life story is of course very skipped, I tried to make it as short as possible,
if something is unclear, please ask me about it.
So to come to my question, do you think it is indispensable to do an inpatient treatment because of my life story?
I would prefer something like talking to the therapist twice a week to keep my life normal (friends, work, hobbies)
But what is your opinion? Does that still bring something in my situation? Or does only the drastic way about the stationary help?
I want to stop gambling in any case, but I also know how quickly one falls off the wagon.... do you have any experience with this?
Or can you give me tips that will help me to stand my addiction?
I am very grateful for any answer and for any advice!
Gambling addiction - relapse - and now the therapy ?
19th Jan. 2021, at 08:35 am CET#2
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Liked this post: Anonym
Hey, I just want to give my opinion on the topic of therapy... basically it's similar to a "drug addiction". In the long run such a behavior destroys psychologically and physically...
But what I can tell you from my circle of acquaintances, you can "finish" with all this on your own. You just have to really want it yourself. I know a handful of people who have simply stopped from one day to the next. Whether it was gambling or drugs. They just leave it
If you need a therapy or if you can get it under control by yourself, no outsider can tell you. You have to be honest with yourself and ask yourself if you have the will or if you need support. But in the end it all depends on you. Because a therapy is not a cure but a therapy. Once you are addicted, you stay addicted for the rest of your life. The only thing you have to do is to pull yourself together and not become weak again when you feel the pressure of addiction.
Good luck to you ✌️
This post has been translated automatically
Anonym
Former Member
Gambling addiction - relapse - and now the therapy ?
you should first ask yourself the question and answer what attracts you to gambling so to have the desire to do so again and again!
Who is once caught in it is also difficult to get out, if (as warennn has already described) you do not have the will to do so!
Some can also live with it, if you are honest with yourself and know what they are so fascinated by it!
I, for example, could not stop forever, but have set myself a limit, so that no one suffers financially and I can still have fun with it from time to time. If there is still a win, I pay out and wait another month.
As I said, ask yourself first what keeps pulling you in there.
1. Financially it can't be, because you have to keep that in mind, you earn well and don't need this
2. If it is for fun and to switch off, then leave it at that and work with limits, e.g. once a month 100€ - 200€ Deposit
3. If it's just for a long time then work on yourself and look for variety in your life which makes you happy (hobbies)
Do not set the goal WHY but HOW you can live with it without harming yourself, family and friends.
Gambling addiction - relapse - and now the therapy ?
19th Jan. 2021, at 10:22 am CET#4
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Liked this post: Anonym
If you are interested in such weekly meetings, see if there is such a circle of chairs offered by the Diakonie or Caritas in your area. Something like Alcoholics Anonymous. Your story is borderline, but I would still say that you are not "sick" enough for inpatient therapy. You can do it, but you have to be fully committed to it. If you already have doubts about the matter itself, it won't help much. I wish you all the best.
A professional advises you to seek therapy and what do you do? You sign up for a pro-gambling forum!
The professional was right (therapy) and it may be that this is not a panacea - nevertheless you will be shown ways to live with your addiction
(And of course some more )
I would tell your boss and ask for 4 weeks off.
Tell your friends you are on vacation, hiking the Camino de Santiago to clear your head or something like that, but no one should be ashamed of an addiction. Most people have some skeletons in the closet.
Maybe a partner could help for a complete new start. I have at least read nothing that there is in life, if it says that you only go to work and spend the rest of the time alone in your room. With this wage you could already build a good life, especially where the working relationship as you described is top with your employer. I could imagine such a 4 week therapy could destroy the good relationship with the employer. Because he doesn't know about the Gambling addiction and if he finds out about it, the relationship won't be the best anymore. You would then also be completely absent for a while due to this therapy and others would then slip into this position that you currently have in the company. That has to work out somehow without this therapy. At the moment your family is also treating you and is keeping a close eye on your finances, which could also be a good way to a better future. You just have to think about what you could put aside annually in savings if you didn't gamble and instead just ruin your life with gambling.
Gambling addiction - relapse - and now the therapy ?
19th Jan. 2021, at 03:10 pm CET#8
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Liked this post: Anonym
Falko wrote on 19.01.2021 at 14:48 clock: Maybe a partner could help for a complete fresh start. I have at least nothing read that there is in life, if it says that you only go to work and spend the rest of the time alone in your room. With this wage you could already build a good life, especially where the working relationship as you described is top with your employer. I could imagine such a 4 week therapy could destroy the good relationship with the employer. Because he doesn't know about the Gambling addiction and if he finds out about it, the relationship won't be the best anymore. You would then also be completely absent for a while due to this therapy and others would then slip into this position that you currently have in the company. That has to work out somehow without this therapy. At the moment you are also being treated by your family, who are now keeping a close eye on your finances, which could also be a good way to a better future. You just have to think about what you could put aside annually in savings if you didn't gamble and instead just ruin your life with gambling.
If there are reasonable bosses, and there are, they have an open ear for good employees. It is also a sign of trust to inform the boss. Oldschool is the best judge of that.
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Anonym
Topic Creator
Former Member
Gambling addiction - relapse - and now the therapy ?
19th Jan. 2021, at 06:45 pm CET#9
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Nobody has liked this post so far
Ichbins2018 wrote on 19/01/2021 at 10:48 am: A professional advises you to seek therapy and what do you do? You sign up to a forum pro gambling!
The pro was right (therapy) and may be that this is not a panacea -but you get there ways to live with your addiction
(And of course some more )
I have chosen this forum not because of his winning pictures, but because there is this "Gambling addiction corner" and I have read there numerous Therads, I can assure you that I have read to date not a single pro gambling contribution here o.a also searched.
Nevertheless, thank you for your answer.
This post has been translated automatically
Anonym
Topic Creator
Former Member
Gambling addiction - relapse - and now the therapy ?
19th Jan. 2021, at 07:00 pm CET#10
0 Likes
Nobody has liked this post so far
warennn wrote on 19.01.2021 at 08:35: Hey, I just want to give my two cents on the subject of therapy... basically it's similar to ne "drug addiction". In the long run, such behavior destroys psychologically and physically...
But what I can tell you from my circle of acquaintances, you can also "finish" with all this alone. You just have to really want it yourself. I know a handful of people who have simply stopped from one day to the next. Whether it was gambling or drugs. They just leave it
If you need a therapy or if you can get it under control yourself, no outsider will be able to tell you. You have to be honest with yourself and ask yourself if you have the will or if you need support. But in the end, it all depends on you. Because a therapy is not a cure but a therapy. Once you are addicted, you stay addicted for the rest of your life. The only thing you have to do is to pull yourself together and not become weak again when you feel the pressure of addiction.
Good luck to you ✌️
Hello, and thank you for your reply.
Yes, I admire such people as you name here very much... that is not without, just stop without further ado.
Of course, I say of myself at the moment, NO, I do not want more, now the point is reached, if I continue now I destroy everything in my life, and HEY, I'm still young, I can still turn everything to the good! I just have to start now.
But that's exactly what I had already twice, and in the end a relapse has arisen, WHILE I really wanted it....
But there comes a time when everything goes well again, the worries of that time seem to be forgotten and you start playing again.
Gambling addiction - relapse - and now the therapy ?
Nobody has liked this post so far
Thanks in advance to those who take the time to read my post,
and send me help in the form of advice.
About my person,
I, a normal (gambling addict) young man, who is 25 years old and has completed school - training,
and has had a permanent job for almost 8 years, since I was taken on there after my training.
It is quasi everything very well with me, just to perfect ... if there would not be the gambling addiction...
My problem is the following, I am highly addicted to gambling, and now write here for the first time in such a forum a contribution
I play since I am 17 years old, at the beginning in normal gambling houses, with initially small stakes 10-20 cents,
also always with a friend... at first it was all fun and it kept within limits.
There would be so much to write here what I happened in the last 8 years, but I think that would go far beyond the scope,
so I try to keep it as short as possible.
So as you know, I gamble since my 17th year of life almost every month my salary, but afford me during this time but also other things, such as cigarettes, and go every weekend to party, for which my money was always enough. That was because I earned and earn relatively well, and I do not have to pay rent, because I live with my parents.
This all went reasonably well, until I was then trained and then earned very good money (initially just under 2k, and at some point Stand now about 3500€.
And the more I earned, the more uncontrolled my gambling became, then I was 20 years old,
i then began to play in online casino, with soccer betting, online Poker etc.. and bang at once I also took my first loan!
The loan was then relatively quickly gambled away and more followed... at some point the whole thing blew up, because of course I could no longer lift the rates at some point and the reminders piled up at home, (not because I earned too little money to repay, but because I have gambled away every month anew my salary).
At some point I involved my parents, and they paid back the loans for me. (Total 30 thousand in about).
then followed a few gambling-free months, then it went on again with the gambling!
Now I skip a few more years, because it contains the usual procedure of a gambling addict, everything gambled away - again loans taken - family stolen, slightly criminal with eg things sell on Ebay you do not own, (Quasi loan money) as soon as I had money again or the salary came I have then immediately paid back the money (was the intention from the beginning if I do not win with the (faked money) so the whole thing went well for a relatively long time.
Then with 24 years the first waking up, I was finished with my life, the work has never suffered from it, but otherwise I spent most of the time locked up in my room,
at some point my brother noticed that too. I now talked completely openly about everything for the first time in my life (gambling addiction - what all happened, and of course the loans..
I lied to everyone for so long, and delayed (credit installments) until nothing more went... my 3-4 next monthly salaries were virtually used up for a very long time, although I did not have them yet... , I was then helped again, in total just under 100k, which my family has served. A small remaining sum of about 20k was left open to me, which was also very good, and so I agreed from Fort an every month a thousand euros from my salary immediately after Lohnhalt to repay, my brother has the whole then controlled with me, in the form of account statements... unfortunately, my addiction did not last long and I was looking for ways to get around it in the form of cash withdrawals over weeks, to then drive again with a large sum (1-2k) in casino...etc.
The whole thing went well now again 1 year, and I stood again before almost 10k Debt that had to be repaid immediately.
The relapse was perfect, I had thrown away a renewed paid new start ... or gambled.
I do not play now for 1 months, I can no longer access the salary, the control was handed over to the family.
I'm doing very well with it, I have no real desire to go anywhere to play, but maybe it's also because I have no money or only the most necessary daily provided for cigarettes and food at work, gas, etc..
I am now for the first time in my life in consultation with a Gambling addiction expert, who advises me very strongly to make an inpatient treatment because of my history, duration for this would be about 4 months. My employer is very accommodating and I also have a good position in the company, here and also within the family everyone is behind me without exception, I am sure. I am not completely averse to this inpatient treatment, BUT,
I know that I need help and indeed professional help, because I am very addicted to gambling, BUT, I do not want anyone to know about it, and 4 months is a very long time where you are not at home, and can do nothing with friends or in the work just completely missing!
I just don't want anyone outside my family to know that I'm a gambling addict (the topic is pretty low in society), I just want to be seen as a normal young man, and not as a gambling addict, you think I already know what I mean...
I have no problem to say openly within the family that I am a gambling addict, even my therapist knows all this about me.
My life story is of course very skipped, I tried to make it as short as possible,
if something is unclear, please ask me about it.
So to come to my question, do you think it is indispensable to do an inpatient treatment because of my life story?
I would prefer something like talking to the therapist twice a week to keep my life normal (friends, work, hobbies)
But what is your opinion? Does that still bring something in my situation? Or does only the drastic way about the stationary help?
I want to stop gambling in any case, but I also know how quickly one falls off the wagon.... do you have any experience with this?
Or can you give me tips that will help me to stand my addiction?
I am very grateful for any answer and for any advice!
MfG!
This post has been translated automatically
Gambling addiction - relapse - and now the therapy ?
Liked this post: Anonym
But what I can tell you from my circle of acquaintances, you can "finish" with all this on your own. You just have to really want it yourself. I know a handful of people who have simply stopped from one day to the next. Whether it was gambling or drugs. They just leave it
If you need a therapy or if you can get it under control by yourself, no outsider can tell you. You have to be honest with yourself and ask yourself if you have the will or if you need support. But in the end it all depends on you. Because a therapy is not a cure but a therapy. Once you are addicted, you stay addicted for the rest of your life. The only thing you have to do is to pull yourself together and not become weak again when you feel the pressure of addiction.
Good luck to you ✌️
This post has been translated automatically
Gambling addiction - relapse - and now the therapy ?
Liked this post: Anonym,
bob77
you should first ask yourself the question and answer what attracts you to gambling so to have the desire to do so again and again!
Who is once caught in it is also difficult to get out, if (as warennn has already described) you do not have the will to do so!
Some can also live with it, if you are honest with yourself and know what they are so fascinated by it!
I, for example, could not stop forever, but have set myself a limit, so that no one suffers financially and I can still have fun with it from time to time. If there is still a win, I pay out and wait another month.
As I said, ask yourself first what keeps pulling you in there.
1. Financially it can't be, because you have to keep that in mind, you earn well and don't need this
2. If it is for fun and to switch off, then leave it at that and work with limits, e.g. once a month 100€ - 200€ Deposit
3. If it's just for a long time then work on yourself and look for variety in your life which makes you happy (hobbies)
Do not set the goal WHY but HOW you can live with it without harming yourself, family and friends.
Mfg
Tomi559
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Gambling addiction - relapse - and now the therapy ?
Liked this post: Anonym
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Gambling addiction - relapse - and now the therapy ?
Liked this post: Anonym, Anonym,
ShakhtarD
The professional was right (therapy) and it may be that this is not a panacea - nevertheless you will be shown ways to live with your addiction
(And of course some more )
This post has been translated automatically
Gambling addiction - relapse - and now the therapy ?
Liked this post: Anonym,
bob77
Tell your friends you are on vacation, hiking the Camino de Santiago to clear your head or something like that, but no one should be ashamed of an addiction. Most people have some skeletons in the closet.
This post has been translated automatically
Gambling addiction - relapse - and now the therapy ?
Liked this post: Anonym,
CashOut
This post has been translated automatically
Gambling addiction - relapse - and now the therapy ?
Liked this post: Anonym
If there are reasonable bosses, and there are, they have an open ear for good employees. It is also a sign of trust to inform the boss. Oldschool is the best judge of that.
This post has been translated automatically
Gambling addiction - relapse - and now the therapy ?
Nobody has liked this post so far
I have chosen this forum not because of his winning pictures, but because there is this "Gambling addiction corner" and I have read there numerous Therads, I can assure you that I have read to date not a single pro gambling contribution here o.a also searched.
Nevertheless, thank you for your answer.
This post has been translated automatically
Gambling addiction - relapse - and now the therapy ?
Nobody has liked this post so far
Hello, and thank you for your reply.
Yes, I admire such people as you name here very much... that is not without, just stop without further ado.
Of course, I say of myself at the moment, NO, I do not want more, now the point is reached, if I continue now I destroy everything in my life, and HEY, I'm still young, I can still turn everything to the good! I just have to start now.
But that's exactly what I had already twice, and in the end a relapse has arisen, WHILE I really wanted it....
But there comes a time when everything goes well again, the worries of that time seem to be forgotten and you start playing again.
This post has been translated automatically