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Gambling addiction in general: I am so sorry

Topic created on 18th Dec. 2018 | Page: 1 of 4 | Answers: 37 | Views: 7,879
Zauberfee
Visitor

I am so sorry

18th Dec. 2018, at 12:05 am CET#1
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Hello dear forum,

for a long time I read with you, I know actually I think I'm also wrong here, because it is a player forum

I have long recognized that I no longer have it under control, after severe blows of fate about 8 years ago I started to play online, I won through a bonus a lot of money about the 1000 euros, so exactly I can not remember how it went on in any case I played a lot and did not notice how I came into the vicious circle at some point I gambled away my entire salary and could not pay rent anything more, I was honest with my bank and got a small overdraft and could fortunately pay everything

Stupid as I was I continued to play, I did not understand it at all until nothing more went, I am in the Privatinso and have certainly three years no longer played. Then I don't know any more I probably started again, always times what to Deposit it went also always somehow until I gambled away in the frenzy about PayPal more than I had, then I was so finished and booked back just under 1500 euros, well stupid as I am I also talked to PayPal and KSP and agreed rates am now almost through.

No not that you would have to say puh again lucky ne after nem year about I continued to pay in until now where I have gambled away the month over 500 euros and sooo am at the end, how can you be so stupid. No not only that I endanger my insolvency, I always hoped I can control it once it went and today no longer, I always play at most 50 cents and only three different games

In January I have only one appointment with the therapist, that is like so self-destruction a second personality. My child died eight years ago, before that I had everything under control, I was very sensible and now, and this before Christmas, I don't understand myself anymore. I'm sorry for the long text, I'm so afraid to have broken everything and I feel so bad. And my bank account looks terrible as I only deposited through Trustly .
Love greetings

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Anonym

I am so sorry

18th Dec. 2018, at 12:37 am CET#2
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First of all welcome here

And for your long text you do not have to apologize

Now to your problem.... Of course it is not nice what kind of situation you are in. But you have basically already initiated so many things yourself and now from January you are doing a therapy. Thanks to this you will then surely understand why you play.

You have already recognized the trigger of the whole thing yourself (I only found out why I became addicted through my therapy). This is a terrible fate that you had to experience. Have you not been in any therapy or something like that after the death of your child?

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ruhrpott
Expert

I am so sorry

18th Dec. 2018, at 12:43 am CET#3
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Hello to you
First of all I am sorry to hear about your child...:(
The question that Ronny asked I would have also wanted to ask....Therefore just a little advice from my side until your therapy starts: Turn off your head and free yourself from the thoughts of gambling. Yes, this is easier said than done, but especially the Christmas season is absolutely perfect for this...Do you have people to spend Christmas with? If so, think about it, because the time to think about gambling is basically not really there

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Zauberfee
Visitor

I am so sorry

18th Dec. 2018, at 12:55 am CET#4
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Ronny1982 wrote on 18/12/2018 at 00:37: First of all welcome here

And you don't have to apologize for your long text

Now to your problem....It is of course not nice in what a situation you find yourself. But you have basically already initiated so many things yourself and now from January you are doing a therapy. Thanks to this you will then surely understand why you play.

You have already recognized the trigger of the whole thing yourself (I only found out why I became addicted through my therapy). This is a terrible fate that you had to experience. Have you not been in any therapy or something like that after the death of your child?


Hello Ronny1982 thank you very much for your answer, I hope I write back in the right place.

Yes I will be glad when the therapy starts in January.
and I have not been in any therapy before.
i thought I could do it alone, like so many things in my life I always had to do alone.

I started to work a short time later and have suppressed everything until today, I have worked as an arcade supervisor before I did not know the gambling. My whole family is unfortunately deceased, I still have an adult daughter and a young son of 6 years.
I am so ashamed, otherwise I am very responsible.

Has your therapy helped you, if I may ask?

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Zauberfee
Visitor

I am so sorry

18th Dec. 2018, at 01:08 am CET#5
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ruhrpott wrote on 18/12/2018 at 00:43: Hello to you
First of all I am sorry to hear that regarding your child...:(
I would have wanted to ask the question Ronny asked too....So just a little advice from me until your therapy starts: turn off your head and get free from the thoughts of gambling. Yes, this is easier said than done, but especially the Christmas season is absolutely perfect for this...Do you have people to spend Christmas with? If so, think about it, because the time to think about gambling is basically not really there.

Dear ruhrpott also a hello to you.

Yes I will do that now, I have to, I think I would have liked to get my losses back in, but I was afraid that you have to deal with this bad thought in your head that you messed up

You have to write off the losses and come to terms with the way things are, it hurts a lot because I don't want to be that person who is not in control, but that's who I am too. I can only change it and make it better.

Christmas is not my time because I miss my family, there are only three of us.
I don't have many friends.

But you are so right, you have to free yourself from it and turn off your head
I just never thought that something can take you like that
I don't drink, only rarely and only smoke e-cigarettes instead of smoking, but this gimmick is a tough one

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Anonym

I am so sorry

18th Dec. 2018, at 01:11 am CET#6
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Magic Fairy wrote on 12/18/2018 at 00:55 PM
Hi Ronny1982 I really thank you for your reply, I hope I write back here in the right place.

Yes I will be glad when the therapy starts from January.
and I have not been in any therapy before.
i have thought I can do it alone, as so much in my life I always had to create alone .

I started to work a short time later and have suppressed everything until today, I have worked as an arcade supervisor before I did not know the gambling. My whole family is unfortunately deceased, I still have an adult daughter and a young son of 6 years.
I am so ashamed, otherwise I am very responsible.

Has your therapy helped you, if I may ask?


You write here exactly right back yes

Yes, don't we always think like that? So that we also create it alone? No...with some things one should be able to accept also gladly times help of others!

Yes, the therapy has helped me. I am a dry alcoholic. When I started the therapy I was already dry for several years, but I never understood why I was addicted. And then I experienced a shift in addiction...During therapy, in a very emotional session, the penny dropped and I knew why I was (and am) prone to addictions of all kinds. I will therefore have to take care of myself for the rest of my life.

The reason why I really went downhill with my drinking was the death of my best friend with whom I grew up and I also thought I could do it on my own.

May I ask what kind of therapy you are talking about? It would be good to find a therapist who offers behavioral therapy and deep psychology therapy

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ruhrpott
Expert

I am so sorry

18th Dec. 2018, at 01:24 am CET#7
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Zauberfee wrote on 12/18/2018 at 01:08 PM
Dear ruhrpott also a hello to you.

Yes I will do that now too, I have to, I think I would have just liked to get my losses back in, but I was afraid you have to come to terms with that bad thought in your head that you messed up

You have to write off the losses and come to terms with the way things are, it hurts a lot because I don't want to be that person who is not in control, but that's who I am too. I can only change it and make it better.

Christmas is not my time because I miss my family, there are only three of us.
I don't have many friends.

But you are so right, you have to free yourself from it and turn off your head
I just never thought that something can take you like that
I don't drink, only rarely and only smoke e-cigarettes instead of smoking, but this gimmick is a tough one.

In any case, it is good that you yourself have recognized that it has no sense or can not be possible to recover its losses. You are much further ahead than some others who claim to be able to stop at any time

I mean, of course it won't happen from now on that you don't waste any more thoughts on gambling, but 2 things are important in this context: On the one hand the realization (which you undoubtedly have after what you have written), and a certain perseverance in the therapy. Especially at the beginning it will be something strange and unfamiliar, but it will help. The important thing is that you want to stop.
With regard to your family misfortunes: You wrote that you have not been in therapy before. Have you ever been able to talk to someone about this? I believe that these are two different pairs of shoes and that medical advice (or just an open ear) could also help....

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Zauberfee
Visitor

I am so sorry

18th Dec. 2018, at 01:31 am CET#8
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Ronny1982 wrote on 18/12/2018 at 01:11 PM
You write back here exactly right yes

Yes we think so not always? So that we make it yes also alone? No...with some things one should be able to accept also gladly times help of others!

Yes, the therapy has helped me. I am a dry alcoholic. When I started the therapy I was already dry for several years, but I never understood why I was addicted. And then I experienced a shift in addiction...During therapy, in a very emotional session, the penny dropped and I knew why I was (and am) prone to addictions of all kinds. I will therefore have to take care of myself for the rest of my life.

The reason why I really went downhill with my drinking was the death of my best friend with whom I grew up and I also thought I could do it on my own.

May I ask what kind of therapy you are talking about? It would be good to find a therapist who offers behavioral therapy and deep psychology therapy.

Yes, that's what we seem to be doing, I have to learn to accept help, I'm at a point where I realize that I won't be able to cope alone in the long run, and I'm not getting any younger.

You have already achieved a lot in your life, that you have defeated the alcohol addiction, I find that really enormous. That was certainly not easy.
Yes, that's it addiction displacement is nasty, I often have it with food, think that's all a kind of self-destruction.

I'm sorry about your friend, something like that marks you in life because it hurts so much. It never goes away, you can only learn to live with it.

Yes I am first only in normal conversation therapy and at the psychologist, it is so hard to get places, from the 15.01.2019.

I often have the feeling that when things are going well I get scared that something bad will happen again, and then I mess up
i also lost my mother as a child at an early age, I don't think I've come to terms with that yet.

Do you still play if I may ask?

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Zauberfee
Visitor

I am so sorry

18th Dec. 2018, at 01:52 am CET#9
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ruhrpott wrote on 12/18/2018 at 01:24 AM

In any case, it is good that you yourself have recognized that it has no sense or can not be / will not be possible to recover its losses. So you are much further than some others who claim to be able to stop at any time

I mean, of course it won't happen from now on that you don't waste any more thoughts on gambling, but 2 things are important in this context: On the one hand the realization (which you undoubtedly have after what you have written), and a certain perseverance in the therapy. Especially at the beginning it will be something strange and unfamiliar, but it will help. The important thing is that you want to stop.
With regard to your family misfortunes: You wrote that you have not been in therapy before. Have you ever been able to talk to someone about this? I believe that these are two different things and that a doctor's advice (or just a sympathetic ear) can also help

You are right and yes I want to stop. I am also aware that it will not be easy, the gambling distracts you from yourself.
I also need to talk, it's time
No, that's true, it's so hard to get places and someone to harmonize with.

I have built a big wall around me.
No I have not been able to talk much, often everything is so superficial that I prefer to be alone.
But I don't think that's a good thing either.
I hope you still understand what I mean, I think I'm tired now, but it's already mega late.

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Ichbins2018
Top Member

I am so sorry

18th Dec. 2018, at 11:22 am CET#10
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Magic Fairy wrote on 18/12/2018 at 00:05: Hello dear forum,

for a long time I read along with you, I know actually I think I'm also wrong here, because it is a player forum.

I would also say that you are here Grottenfalsch dear magic fairy!
A platform like this is excellent to trigger you - on the other hand pure poison for a pathological Glücksspieler/in.

If you are serious about your disease - and if you want to exchange information about it on the net, then look that you register in forums or in a forum which is also suitable for this.

E.g. www.forum-gluecksspielsucht.de/forum -or www.spielsucht-foren.de

In such forums you can learn a lot more about your addiction and how to deal with it

All the best to you Zauberfee

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