I (29 years) have registered here because I'm just extremely angry at myself and today at a point where I'm sick. I have a very short but intense gaming career:
3 months ago I came home from work stressed and frustrated, had 2 glasses of scotch and signed up for a stupid OC. In the beginning it was just the desire to try something new and forget the everyday life...well and after about 300 € Deposit and 2 hours buzzing around at Book of Dead ZACK 6000 €!!! I had the first time can not believe and googled whether this is all legal and whether it really works with the payout. Well 2 days later then the money was on my account. The first time I told my wife and promised her at the same time to leave it at that because the Risk of addiction is certainly too great. As you can imagine, of course, it did not remain...2 weeks later, I went of course again ran because it was just too much money in too short time with too little effort! Have then on 1-2 days about 1000 € again gambled away but then on day 3 BOOM 10,000, - € again with only 200 € stake at Book of Dead (played up of course). I have told no one what and this feeling was just surreal...minus losses just times about 15,000, -Euro in such a short time. Of course it tickled again and again the weeks afterwards...I heard of wins up to 50.000- 100.000 € and I thought that would be a great step towards my desired independence but of course it went downhill from then on! The nights after the losses were the worst...this regret ate me up literally and I could not close an eye. For nights I was wide awake and had only this anger in me and everything revolved around money and account balances...In front of my wife I acted and on Abreit I always said that my little daughter (baby) kept us up at night and that's why I was so tired. On a day then I went to the bank withdrew most of what was left of the win and bought gold to secure it virtually from myself because I made it more complicated to make it "liquid" again...until now one of my best ideas because that is still in the safe! A week ago then I zockte again my account beautifully down....at the end I had then however with the last deposit again luck and could the daily loss again rausholen...immediately I pressed on Auszahlen and could sleep for a long time times again well. Well and today again a stressful day at work and I idiot simply times in 1 hour whole 2000 euros again gambled away and this remorse and self-hatred bubbles up again in me completely high...my wife has just noticed that I have what but I can be silent as a grave there I am ice cold. I don't want to give her any insecurity because we also have a little daughter.... Of course I want to appear safe and thoughtful in front of her.
I'm not in the red on my account or can not pay the rent and other fixed costs but stand now financially worse than 3 months ago before it all went off...we want to make a long-distance trip in the spring that we want for a long time and now I'm no longer sure if that works or my desire is there totally down the drain. 2 months ago after the win I said to her: now we can even take a better hotel honey and for Christmas you get a new phone...well I VOLLIDIOT! I never thought that something like this would happen to me, especially SO FAST. I could just puke right now. What should I do? Get professional help now or tell my wife? Do you think that through this deeply tearing remorse and through this self-hatred that I feel right now I will be able to stop on my own? Right now I just can't imagine going to these sh**** sites ever again and giving them only 1 cent! I am really glad that I have saved at least a part in gold but nevertheless I stand, as already said, now financially much worse than before there I am already thinking about withdrawing everything from my account except the most necessary (fixed costs) and to hide or even to buy gold with it except so that I do not see and gamble away.
Really this feeling just kills me and I know it will last until it goes...already no desire on the next days...am with friends on the weekend and just want to cancel and see no one...my little daughter is currently the only thought that moves me to move my butt tomorrow to work. How did you deal with this feeling when you burned a big win and more? How did you cope with it?
That's how it usually starts first you try it then you land a big hit and everything takes its course
I know this feeling when you have gone over the top and I'm sure most people here know this stupid feeling of self-loathing when you have gambled away a big win that happens to almost everyone sometimes
But the important thing is that this feeling will subside and you will probably play there again
What you can only do is
1) set yourself a clear limit how much you are willing to lose
2) talk to your wife secretly you Risk falling into this spiral of lies
3) If you realize that you are gambling more than you want to and the urge to gamble is there, lock yourself up everywhere before you lose control
It is a fine line between fun and serious but cheer up I have won 30.000 € partly on stakes 60 € - 100 € 10.000 € lost in a few hours and the 20.000 € that were on my account the next day in 1.000 € and 800 € steps to the last cent again gambled away
I would have liked to sink in the river but from mistakes you learn since then I could not win more than 5,000 € but there I always pay out and if I ever win so high again I will not make the mistake a second time
It remains simply gambling even if it sometimes seems too easy
gamble1 wrote on 11/21/2019 01:46: Welcome for now
That's how it usually starts first you try it then you land a big hit and everything takes its course
This feeling when you have gone over the top I know and certainly most here because this stupid feeling of self-loathing when you have gambled away a big win that happens almost everyone times
But the important thing is that this feeling will subside and you will probably play there again
What you can only do is
1) set yourself a clear limit how much you are willing to lose
2) talk to your wife secretly you Risk falling into this spiral of lies
3) If you realize that you are gambling more than you want to and the urge to gamble is there, lock yourself up everywhere before you lose control
It is a fine line between fun and serious but cheer up I have won 30.000 € partly on bets 60 € - 100 € 10.000 € lost in a few hours and the 20.000 € that were on my account the next day in 1.000 € and 800 € steps to the last cent again gambled away
I would have liked to sink in the river but from mistakes you learn since then I could not win more than 5,000 € but there I always pay out and should I ever win so high again I will not make the mistake a second time
It remains simply gambling even if it sometimes seems too easy
now this post is already a little ago but I can say that it is similar with me if not almost exactly just different fam. relations
I am through a job offer on the Internet stumbled on a company that I joined and believed everything you told me. Never had before in life what to do with OC's let alone ever with a gambling not even lottery we play. Well it all started with Roulette which I had no idea about and you don't need it because you have to play according to a software. With this one won also u the company got 25% of it because one uses their software. It came to me very high wins (4,000, -) was very much for me and I was happy that it worked. That went then from Jan to April each day one should play in a certain C approx. 1-2 hr. the software gave everything. Ok that was my start, I won under'm bottom line nothing except that my KK I applied for it (u immediately from the bank from 5tsd as a limit got) I thought ok then you try it now just alone with the restl. 2tsd were still available in another C and simply googled for C's. Well you can imagine it for sure, also the 2tsd were lost in the end because I let pay out small wins but always deposited again until I was then sometime 15-20 C's registered
Since my husband knew nothing about this KK (we have together a small company) I thought I must get me a 2nd KK so that I can pay back the other mtl. I can withdraw badly from the company account what, falls yes on u FA wants explanation ....
thought, done and the 2nd KK came into the house...... meanwhile I have 3 KK (13tsd limit) my stepmother angepumt told her the truth and she lent me 14.tsd so I have my KK back to 0
As of today
and for that I could do more than slap myself, walk under the rug etc. Self beheading would still be too mild what belongs to me, I know it! However, I had this year now already in October 7 tsd in payment of 3 OC `s what however also went down again (yes son has now got to Christmas a new box spring bed) but all in all I stand again on the same stand as in the summer......
only that I now to the KK also still my stepmother mtl must pay back.
And then I had in Videoslots so much luck in mid-November that I came with 200 Deposit within 1 week daily spielens on 3tsd, this did not pay out because I wanted to reach 5ts, of which 3 can be paid out u continue to gamble with the rest. Because when you stand 1tsd I noticed then it goes irgenwie ruck zuck upwards. No matter what game I'm only immediately at the beginning BW's or FS - I thought that goes on now again so u zockte everything again on 270 eur down.... then it came again. I'm not lying, I won until 2.12. again 3 tsd just under 3,200 and do you know what is now Ktostand? 0.08 (have lost today with the Weekendbooster the 287.60 in each slot came in none to FS )
I am more than desperate because no one knows about it, my stepmother thinks that was just a lot with by the company I fell for, she also does not know that I still continue to play u almost daily in the hope to finally be able to pay out again what.
My husband think I know it, does not want to know it or something. He told me clearly 1x finally stop with the shit and put money aside for what we actually work? You have since 1 year hardly any money left and are only whining. I can not talk to him about it, because that would be worse than any world war I have to get this under control alone. Whether I'm really addicted or just stupid I haven't quite figured out yet. Because an addict would have but also eg on the cell phone an OC (do not want to say now with it all the one on their cell phone have are addicted, please do not misunderstand) I play only on the PC but I notice already that when I hear my husband comes up the stairs (my room is on the 1st floor) that I click away the OC'-page and I'm also nervous when he looks for something in my desk
He asked but since the spring never what do you do every evening upstairs at the PC - because I think he knows secretly, but goes like so many men of the confrontation out of the way. So I am alone and can not confide in anyone, also because I am ashamed of what I do where my account is also not in the minus but house loan etc everything is debited from man his account. So I "still" have a good credit rating because the company also runs on me for 23 years. However, if anything comes up then I'm totally on the A...
I also know the sleepless nights and I no longer know where I should take the money, except small amounts up to max 200, - then really not partly daily but use with caution to get something from somewhere to bring the KK and mtl rate for stepmother. I don't see this as an addiction - but every addict doesn't recognize this himself right away......
So first thank you who has taken the time to read here - I would like to hear your opinion about it and please do not split me into a thousand pieces - I know it myself that it was big crap. You could almost believe that the OC's let you win in the beginning so you get stuck and then they show their true colors. On the other hand, I think to myself, what can the OC's for it if I'm too stupid and realize today does not work, I'm losing in every machine, go rather.....no the stupid stays and zockt down to 0
that could be addiction ? I do not know.
peba67 wrote on 07.12.2019 at 00:23 clock: now this post is already a little ago but I can say that it is similar to me if not almost the same only just other fam. circumstances
I am through a job offer on the Internet stumbled on a company that I joined and believed everything you told me. Never had before in life what to do with OC's let alone ever with a gambling not even lottery we play. Well it all started with Roulette which I had no idea about and you don't need it because you have to play according to a software. With this one won also u the company got 25% of it because one uses their software. It came to me very high wins (4,000, -) was very much for me and I was happy that it worked. That went then from Jan to April each day one should play in a certain C approx. 1-2 hr. the software gave everything. Ok that was my start, I won under'm bottom line nothing except that my KK I applied for it (u immediately from the bank from 5tsd as a limit got) I thought ok then you try it now just alone with the restl. 2tsd were still available in another C and simply googled for C's. Well you can imagine it for sure, also the 2tsd were lost in the end because I let pay out small wins but always deposited again until I was then sometime 15-20 C's registered
Since my husband knew nothing about this KK (we have together a small company) I thought I must get me a 2nd KK so that I can pay back the other with it mtl. I can withdraw badly from the company account what, falls yes on u FA wants explanation ....
thought, done and the 2nd KK came into the house...... meanwhile I have 3 KK (13tsd limit) my stepmother angepumt told her the truth and she lent me 14.tsd so I have my KK back to 0
As of today
and for that I could do more than slap myself, walk under the rug etc. Self beheading would still be too mild what belongs to me, I know it! However, I had this year now already in October 7 tsd in payment of 3 OC `s what however also went down again (yes son has now to WEihnachten a new box spring bed got) but all in all I stand again on the same stand as in the summer......
only that I now have to pay back to the KK also my stepmother mtl.
And then I had in Videoslots so much luck in mid-November that I came with 200 Deposit within 1 week daily spielens on 3tsd, this did not pay out because I wanted to reach 5ts, of which 3 can be paid out u continue to gamble with the rest. Because when you stand 1tsd I noticed then it goes irgenwie ruck zuck upwards. No matter what game I'm only immediately at the beginning BW's or FS - I thought that goes on now again so u zockte everything again on 270 eur down.... then it came again. I'm not lying, I won until 2.12. again 3 tsd just under 3,200 and do you know what is now Ktostand? 0.08 (have lost today with the Weekendbooster the 287.60 in each slot came in none to FS )
I am more than desperate because no one knows about it, my stepmother thinks that was just a lot with by the company I fell for, she also does not know that I still continue to play u almost daily in the hope to finally be able to pay out again what.
My husband think I know it, do not want to know it or something. He told me clearly 1x finally stop with the shit and put money aside for what we actually work? You have since 1 year hardly any money left and are only whining. I can not talk to him about it, because that would be worse than any world war I have to get this under control alone. Whether I'm really addicted or just stupid I haven't quite figured out yet. Because an addict would have but also eg on the cell phone an OC (do not want to say now with it all the one on their cell phone have are addicted, please do not misunderstand) I play only on the PC but I notice already that when I hear my husband comes up the stairs (my room is on the 1st floor) that I click away the OC'-page and I'm also nervous when he looks for something in my desk
He asked but since the spring never what do you do every evening upstairs at the PC - because I think he knows secretly, but goes like so many men of the confrontation out of the way. So I am alone and can not confide in anyone, also because I am ashamed of what I do where my account is also not in the minus but house loan etc everything is debited from man his account. So I "still" have a good credit rating because the company also runs on me for 23 years. However, if anything comes up then I'm totally on the A...
I also know the sleepless nights and I no longer know where I should take the money, except small amounts up to max 200, - then really not partly daily but use with caution to get something from somewhere to bring the KK and mtl rate for stepmother. I don't see this as an addiction - but every addict doesn't recognize this himself right away......
So first thank you who has taken the time to read here - I would like to hear your opinion about it and please do not split me into a thousand pieces - I know it myself that it was big crap. You could almost believe that the OC's let you win in the beginning so you get stuck and then they show their true colors. On the other hand, I think to myself, what can the OC's for it if I'm too stupid and realize today does not work, I'm losing in every machine, go rather.....no the stupid stays and zockt down to 0
that could be addiction ? I do not know.
Great that you have shared your story! That's already a step in the right direction, respect 👍
But in principle, there is a dangerous creeping process, especially if the hide and stay alone with it goes off, you can not control yourself in the framework / gambling behavior, so I would advise you to go to the Suchtberstung for gambling, look for a good address in your area and just go there, is uncomplicated and of course discreet!
I wish you all the best and a lot of strength for the future, have a nice time with your family and try to stay absolutely abstinent from gambling for 2 weeks and concentrate on your loved ones, friends or a hobby.
Hey, I think you have landed in the wrong forum. A Gambling addiction forum would be more appropriate for you
But I can tell you this
The worst thing for your husband is the uncertainty. Not knowing anything. Open up, if he loves you he is behind you and you need to make an effort to get away from gambling
Not looking at THIS forum anymore is one of the first steps
Slothot wrote on Dec 07, 2019 at 09:48: Hey, I think you have landed in the wrong forum. A Gambling addiction forum would be more appropriate for you
But I can tell you this
The worst thing for your husband is the uncertainty. Not knowing anything. Open up, if he loves you he is behind you and you need to make an effort to get away from gambling
Not looking at THIS forum anymore is one of the first steps
Nevertheless a nice 2nd advent
why wrong forum 🤔we can yet judge the matter best .
am through...
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Reskim
I (29 years) have registered here because I'm just extremely angry at myself and today at a point where I'm sick. I have a very short but intense gaming career:
3 months ago I came home from work stressed and frustrated, had 2 glasses of scotch and signed up for a stupid OC. In the beginning it was just the desire to try something new and forget the everyday life...well and after about 300 € Deposit and 2 hours buzzing around at Book of Dead ZACK 6000 €!!! I had the first time can not believe and googled whether this is all legal and whether it really works with the payout. Well 2 days later then the money was on my account. The first time I told my wife and promised her at the same time to leave it at that because the Risk of addiction is certainly too great. As you can imagine, of course, it did not remain...2 weeks later, I went of course again ran because it was just too much money in too short time with too little effort! Have then on 1-2 days about 1000 € again gambled away but then on day 3 BOOM 10,000, - € again with only 200 € stake at Book of Dead (played up of course). I have told no one what and this feeling was just surreal...minus losses just times about 15,000, -Euro in such a short time. Of course it tickled again and again the weeks afterwards...I heard of wins up to 50.000- 100.000 € and I thought that would be a great step towards my desired independence but of course it went downhill from then on! The nights after the losses were the worst...this regret ate me up literally and I could not close an eye. For nights I was wide awake and had only this anger in me and everything revolved around money and account balances...In front of my wife I acted and on Abreit I always said that my little daughter (baby) kept us up at night and that's why I was so tired. On a day then I went to the bank withdrew most of what was left of the win and bought gold to secure it virtually from myself because I made it more complicated to make it "liquid" again...until now one of my best ideas because that is still in the safe! A week ago then I zockte again my account beautifully down....at the end I had then however with the last deposit again luck and could the daily loss again rausholen...immediately I pressed on Auszahlen and could sleep for a long time times again well. Well and today again a stressful day at work and I idiot simply times in 1 hour whole 2000 euros again gambled away and this remorse and self-hatred bubbles up again in me completely high...my wife has just noticed that I have what but I can be silent as a grave there I am ice cold. I don't want to give her any insecurity because we also have a little daughter.... Of course I want to appear safe and thoughtful in front of her.
I'm not in the red on my account or can not pay the rent and other fixed costs but stand now financially worse than 3 months ago before it all went off...we want to make a long-distance trip in the spring that we want for a long time and now I'm no longer sure if that works or my desire is there totally down the drain. 2 months ago after the win I said to her: now we can even take a better hotel honey and for Christmas you get a new phone...well I VOLLIDIOT! I never thought that something like this would happen to me, especially SO FAST. I could just puke right now. What should I do? Get professional help now or tell my wife? Do you think that through this deeply tearing remorse and through this self-hatred that I feel right now I will be able to stop on my own? Right now I just can't imagine going to these sh**** sites ever again and giving them only 1 cent! I am really glad that I have saved at least a part in gold but nevertheless I stand, as already said, now financially much worse than before there I am already thinking about withdrawing everything from my account except the most necessary (fixed costs) and to hide or even to buy gold with it except so that I do not see and gamble away.
Really this feeling just kills me and I know it will last until it goes...already no desire on the next days...am with friends on the weekend and just want to cancel and see no one...my little daughter is currently the only thought that moves me to move my butt tomorrow to work. How did you deal with this feeling when you burned a big win and more? How did you cope with it?
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And hey you have some money both just stop now and good is. Still have no debts or sitting on the street
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That's how it usually starts first you try it then you land a big hit and everything takes its course
I know this feeling when you have gone over the top and I'm sure most people here know this stupid feeling of self-loathing when you have gambled away a big win that happens to almost everyone sometimes
But the important thing is that this feeling will subside and you will probably play there again
What you can only do is
1) set yourself a clear limit how much you are willing to lose
2) talk to your wife secretly you Risk falling into this spiral of lies
3) If you realize that you are gambling more than you want to and the urge to gamble is there, lock yourself up everywhere before you lose control
It is a fine line between fun and serious but cheer up I have won 30.000 € partly on stakes 60 € - 100 € 10.000 € lost in a few hours and the 20.000 € that were on my account the next day in 1.000 € and 800 € steps to the last cent again gambled away
I would have liked to sink in the river but from mistakes you learn since then I could not win more than 5,000 € but there I always pay out and if I ever win so high again I will not make the mistake a second time
It remains simply gambling even if it sometimes seems too easy
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Can only join the previous speaker.
You have PN!
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trekki
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Reskim
I am through a job offer on the Internet stumbled on a company that I joined and believed everything you told me. Never had before in life what to do with OC's let alone ever with a gambling not even lottery we play. Well it all started with Roulette which I had no idea about and you don't need it because you have to play according to a software. With this one won also u the company got 25% of it because one uses their software. It came to me very high wins (4,000, -) was very much for me and I was happy that it worked. That went then from Jan to April each day one should play in a certain C approx. 1-2 hr. the software gave everything. Ok that was my start, I won under'm bottom line nothing except that my KK I applied for it (u immediately from the bank from 5tsd as a limit got) I thought ok then you try it now just alone with the restl. 2tsd were still available in another C and simply googled for C's. Well you can imagine it for sure, also the 2tsd were lost in the end because I let pay out small wins but always deposited again until I was then sometime 15-20 C's registered
Since my husband knew nothing about this KK (we have together a small company) I thought I must get me a 2nd KK so that I can pay back the other mtl. I can withdraw badly from the company account what, falls yes on u FA wants explanation ....
thought, done and the 2nd KK came into the house...... meanwhile I have 3 KK (13tsd limit) my stepmother angepumt told her the truth and she lent me 14.tsd so I have my KK back to 0
As of today
and for that I could do more than slap myself, walk under the rug etc. Self beheading would still be too mild what belongs to me, I know it! However, I had this year now already in October 7 tsd in payment of 3 OC `s what however also went down again (yes son has now got to Christmas a new box spring bed) but all in all I stand again on the same stand as in the summer......
only that I now to the KK also still my stepmother mtl must pay back.
And then I had in Videoslots so much luck in mid-November that I came with 200 Deposit within 1 week daily spielens on 3tsd, this did not pay out because I wanted to reach 5ts, of which 3 can be paid out u continue to gamble with the rest. Because when you stand 1tsd I noticed then it goes irgenwie ruck zuck upwards. No matter what game I'm only immediately at the beginning BW's or FS - I thought that goes on now again so u zockte everything again on 270 eur down.... then it came again. I'm not lying, I won until 2.12. again 3 tsd just under 3,200 and do you know what is now Ktostand? 0.08 (have lost today with the Weekendbooster the 287.60 in each slot came in none to FS )
I am more than desperate because no one knows about it, my stepmother thinks that was just a lot with by the company I fell for, she also does not know that I still continue to play u almost daily in the hope to finally be able to pay out again what.
My husband think I know it, does not want to know it or something. He told me clearly 1x finally stop with the shit and put money aside for what we actually work? You have since 1 year hardly any money left and are only whining. I can not talk to him about it, because that would be worse than any world war I have to get this under control alone. Whether I'm really addicted or just stupid I haven't quite figured out yet. Because an addict would have but also eg on the cell phone an OC (do not want to say now with it all the one on their cell phone have are addicted, please do not misunderstand) I play only on the PC but I notice already that when I hear my husband comes up the stairs (my room is on the 1st floor) that I click away the OC'-page and I'm also nervous when he looks for something in my desk
He asked but since the spring never what do you do every evening upstairs at the PC - because I think he knows secretly, but goes like so many men of the confrontation out of the way. So I am alone and can not confide in anyone, also because I am ashamed of what I do where my account is also not in the minus but house loan etc everything is debited from man his account. So I "still" have a good credit rating because the company also runs on me for 23 years. However, if anything comes up then I'm totally on the A...
I also know the sleepless nights and I no longer know where I should take the money, except small amounts up to max 200, - then really not partly daily but use with caution to get something from somewhere to bring the KK and mtl rate for stepmother. I don't see this as an addiction - but every addict doesn't recognize this himself right away......
So first thank you who has taken the time to read here - I would like to hear your opinion about it and please do not split me into a thousand pieces - I know it myself that it was big crap. You could almost believe that the OC's let you win in the beginning so you get stuck and then they show their true colors. On the other hand, I think to myself, what can the OC's for it if I'm too stupid and realize today does not work, I'm losing in every machine, go rather.....no the stupid stays and zockt down to 0
that could be addiction ? I do not know.
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peba67
Great that you have shared your story! That's already a step in the right direction, respect 👍
But in principle, there is a dangerous creeping process, especially if the hide and stay alone with it goes off, you can not control yourself in the framework / gambling behavior, so I would advise you to go to the Suchtberstung for gambling, look for a good address in your area and just go there, is uncomplicated and of course discreet!
I wish you all the best and a lot of strength for the future, have a nice time with your family and try to stay absolutely abstinent from gambling for 2 weeks and concentrate on your loved ones, friends or a hobby.
LG 😊
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Nobody has liked this post so far
But I can tell you this
The worst thing for your husband is the uncertainty. Not knowing anything. Open up, if he loves you he is behind you and you need to make an effort to get away from gambling
Not looking at THIS forum anymore is one of the first steps
Nevertheless have a nice 2nd advent
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peba67
why wrong forum 🤔we can yet judge the matter best .
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here it's about gambling, not to stop gambling if you have ne alcohol addiction, you also do not go to ne pub and get tips
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